Rory lou is turning a year old on March 4th. These are some tips and tricks I learned in her first year of life. I was never a diehard “gotta be a mom” type. She came as a happy accident and we figured stuff out as we went. I hope this can help you some:
Order ice pads and witch hazel wipes for a vaginal pregnancy. Have them ready when you get home. Take a billion salt baths a day. Especially if you have a tear, don’t get up, seriously. Let people wait on you in bed. Your body will thank you.
My favorite diapers: Pampers swaddlers by far. Get a wholesale club membership or sign up for amazon subscribe and save.
Favorite wipes: Huggies sensitive. Same thing applies-find discounts and stay stocked up.
Don’t use Desitin if you have a girl. Please just believe me on this one. Throw it away and get Aquaphor and corn starch.
I wanted to breastfeed exclusively, but I didn’t make enough milk and could never find a breast pump that worked. After two weeks of breastfeeding, Derora had gone from her birth weight of 6.15 lb down 5.8 lb. She was frail and we had to start supplementing with formula. The take home: don’t feel bad if you can’t produce. Feed your kid! The formula we chose was Earth’s Best and we used it for the whole first year. I also breastfed alongside formula for 9 months. You can do both!
Ravi wore Rory in one of those baby carriers around the house in the first few months when she was light enough. It was a cool way to get chores done and make sure she was safe and secure. She took most of her naps on his chest in the first months of life.
Our favorite bottles were the Tommy Tippee back to nature. We’d hand wash them and boil them once every few days as well. We even made up a song about making bottle stew. We still use the same bottles now! They’re awesome.
Make up songs about everything to lighten the mood.
Keep a ton of towels everywhere for spit up.
Make sure there aren’t abrasive tags on clothes if your kid is crying and uncomfortable for no discernible reason.
We didn’t buy clothes the whole first year — if you can find someone to provide hand-me-downs do it! But if not, always check for people giving stuff away on marketplace and other online resources. People don’t need baby clothes/toys/supplies and basically give that stuff away.
Rory didn’t sleep in a bassinet ever, so she was in the bed between us until she switched to her crib around 7–8 months in. People sleep with their kid in bed. Doctors say you shouldn’t but everyone I ever asked also did that. Just want to make it clear you’re not a bad mom/dad for doing that, especially if breastfeeding and exhausted (more on the exhaustion later). When we did switch to a crib, it was only because I got a super comfy crib topper off of amazon. She wouldn’t sleep on just the mattress, she needed it squishier! Keep that in mind if you want to use a bassinet too! Make sure it’s a little nest-haven!
My advice on the exhaustion is not “sleep while you can.” It’s to take breaks sleeping with your spouse and to also allow each other as many other get-away opportunities as possible. Get away from the screaming kid as much as you can for your own sanity. Go get a coffee at starbucks and cry in the car.
The other best advice I got re:exhaustion was this: Just because you’re tired doesn’t mean you have to be in a bad mood. You can just be tired and kind of mellowed out. Get some chamomile tea and lavender massage oil for yourself. If you smoke weed that’s cool, but I also just loved to use CBD products. Try to breathe deeply when you can even if it’s just a few seconds. I also found that I had a newfound love for cleaning the house because it gave me a zen way to take a break from baby duty while still being productive. You’ll get creative to keep your sanity.
FORGIVE YOURSELF AND YOUR PARTNER FOR BEING BITCHY.
Forgive yourself for being overwhelmed and not balancing things well. You don’t always have to keep everything super clean or call everyone back or do your job in the same way you did before.
On that note, especially for moms: YOUR BODY IS RECOVERING AND WILL BE FOR LONGER THAN ANYONE TOLD YOU. You don’t have to lose all the weight in a few months or be back to your old self ever. You’re allowed to lay in bed (and you should to heal) and cry about your lost maiden and be sad that you don’t look the same. You don’t have to be happy to be a mom all the time. You created life but you’re still an individual. I have had endless issues adjusting to motherhood and would be happy to talk whenever about my process.
Set boundaries with family and friends. No one knows what you’re going through even if they had a bunch of kids. You don’t have to listen or accept free advice (including mine, lol). But family members especially will think you need a bunch of help and it’s okay to say “I’m all set” and figure it out on your own.
You also don’t need to read a bunch of books or look everything up online (unless you enjoy that kind of thing). It’s instinctual and your kid will make it clear if they’re not cool with the life you’ve set up for them. Poops will be too soft or too hard, screams will be blood-curdling or laughter will resonate, rashes will break out and life will make it clear when you need to adjust. You don’t have to read about it all ahead of time or follow some set schedule. Especially with sleep. We let Rory make her own schedule and it worked out great; she sleeps through every night and takes naps in the daytime. She likes all kinds of foods. She’s done a great job of leading herself and we just kind of support her as we go.
I wish you the best of luck on your journey. You got this!
